By Clint Younts

Yesterday, I celebrated National Coffee Day by having a few cups of coffee out on the Crow’s Nest. Yes, I know that by the time y’all read this, National Coffee Day will be long gone, although I suspect most of y’all will continue to celebrate it every morning. I’m not sure why there needs to be a National Coffee Day when the vast majority of Americans sip on wake-up juice every day of the year. I wonder if the few American who aren’t coffee drinkers celebrate National Diet Coke Day.

A few days ago, it was National Son’s Day, and the day before that was National Daughter’s Day. I never would’ve known either day was a holiday if it hadn’t been for all those photos moms posted of their darling kids. I don’t recall any male Facebook friends posting much unless it was something about football or fishing.

One reason I was unaware September 25 was National Daughter’s Day is because there are so many National Days on the calendar. I can remember the big holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I have trouble keeping track of others. I never know when Easter is since it changes every year, and I know what month we celebrate 4th of July but can’t recall which day.

I bet not many of y’all even know that National Daughter’s Day shares the day with National Road Kill Day. To be honest, I was also unaware it was National Road Kill Day. No one posted photos of a squished armadillo or a flattened possum on my Facebook, but I suspect some of my old friends up in the Appalachian Mountains had their grills fired up to celebrate this glorious day.

I also noticed September 28 was National Rabies Day. I’ll have to do more research to see how we’re supposed to celebrate this day, but I suspect it has something to do with bats and hydrophobic dogs. I chose to skip the parade and started celebrating National Coffee Day a day early. 

There’re lots of fun days to celebrate in October. Tons of National Days, and October has been tagged with all sorts of titles, like National Indigenous People Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month and many more. Most of these causes are worthy and noble, but there two that I will simply ignore: Vegetarian Month and Go Sober for October. There ain’t no way I’m going an entire month without a Whataburger and some cold beer. I plan to celebrate International Beer & Pizza Day but won’t participate in World Octopus Day.

October 1 is the International Day of Older Persons, or as we call it here in Texas, Old Coots Days. I don’t know if my kids are planning a big celebration for me, but I hope to at least get a Hallmark card. October 2 is Change a Light Day when you’re supposed to replace old light bulbs with new LED bulbs. I’ll do that if the new bulbs are bright enough, enabling me to see the toilet at two in the morning. Nothing ruins a peaceful night’s sleep like having to mop the floor in a dimly-lit bathroom.

October 12 is World Arthritis Day. It also happens to be National Take Your Parents to Lunch Day, so every Cracker Barrel restaurant will smell like Ben-Gay on that special day. It is also National Gumbo Day. Does Cracker Barrel make good gumbo?

Don’t forget October 21 is National Reptile Awareness Day. I celebrate this day by brushing up on snake identification and shopping at Cabela’s for shotgun shells. There are some folks who object to killing venomous snakes, and they are awarded a day dedicated to them the following day. October 22 is National Nut Day.

One of my favorite holidays is Halloween. I go all out for this day and I’ve already begun putting up spooky decorations. The grandkids like all the decorations but for some reason, Amazon won’t deliver to our house during the entire month of October.