As y’all might recall, the last time you heard from me, I was jawing about running for president as a write-in candidate. Well, I officially threw my cowboy hat into the ring. Actually, the wind blew my hat clean off my noggin while I was on my tractor, and it landed smack-dab on a fresh cow patty. Well, if that weren’t appropriate for this current presidential campaign, I don’t know what is.
Now, I don’t know diddly-squat about getting my name on the ballot. Some fella two barstools down from me said I need to file. I looked at my neatly chewed fingernails and thought they looked just fine. He might’ve been talkin’ about my jagged toenails that do indeed need a good filing, but I can’t figure out how he could see them through dirty bullhide.
Now, to get elected as a write-in candidate, I need all y’all to tell folks who know how to read and write to vote for me. Tell ‘em to take a pencil and a sticky note with my name on it, and scribble it on the ballot. If it’s one of them fancy electronic voting machines, I don’t know where to jot down your write-in candidate. Perhaps you can use a crayon and write on the video screen or carve my name on the voting booth with your pocketknife.
