Just when you think that big can of assorted nuts that we call our federal government couldn’t screw up any worse, some court jesters in Washington introduced a bill asking to change the face on the twenty-dollar bill. Apparently, some conglomeration of desperate housewives and pompous politicians were sipping mimosas on the veranda and came up with the idea of putting a woman’s face on the twenty instead of Old Hickory’s stoic portrait. Okay, now I feel like I may get some estrogenic hate mail over my response, but, dang it, this is just plumb ridiculous.
First of all, Andrew Jackson was a great president and a good ol’ southern boy from the Carolinas. If you’re gonna drop someone’s ugly mug off our currency, make it Ulysses S. Grant instead. That no-count booze hound should never have been placed on our fifty-dollar bill. Maybe on a Yankee dollar, but nothing bigger than a five. I still refuse to carry a $50 bill in my wallet, but I carry a few twenties with southern pride.
There is other paper money we could change instead of the twenty. Alexander Hamilton wasn’t even a president, and he’s on the $10 bill. I can’t even recall what Hamilton did to deserve this honor, but it must’ve been newsworthy at the time. Shoot, Salmon P. Chase is on our $100,000 bill (if you don’t have one in your wallet, take my word on this) and he was never elected president or even flew a kite in a thunderstorm. I thought Salmon Chase was some fishing tournament in Alaska.
