By Kim Hilsenbeck.
With 64 years of marriage under their belts, Rembert (Rem) and Helen “Dolly” Cason are sleeping in separate beds, but maybe not for reasons one might assume.
The couple resides in the Orchard Park in Kyle. Rem, 84, lives on the assisted living side of the facility. Dolly, 82, is on the memory care side.
These days, they spend time together, but essentially live separately.
Rem said he will walk over to the memory care unit to see his wife. She appeared to recognize him when he showed up recently while Dolly was having a snack.
They dine apart, but mostly because the facility staff want memory care residents to maintain their dignity – sometimes eating when one has Alzheimer’s is a bit of an ordeal.
But after meals, Rem will catch up with Dolly.
Though they had a home in Wimberley, the couple spent more than six years living overseas for Rem’s job in safety and fire protection for a fertilizer company. Rem also did sales. He said he just got tired and wanted to come back home.
Prior to that, he was a 20-year U.S. Marine veteran. They raised two sons.
But as age, and Alzheimer’s, began to affect Dolly, Rem knew eventually he would need help.
He tried two other care facilities in Hays County, one in San Marcos, the other in New Braunfels. He was dissatisfied with the treatment his wife received at both locations.
“The staff would get the people and set ‘em in a chair,” he said. “They wouldn’t really interact with them.”
But at Orchard Park, where the staff uses a program called Validation Therapy, Rem said things are different.
“The girls here, they’ll hug her,” he said, referring to the care partners who work with his wife. “The other places, they watched me like a hawk. I’v e noticed a big change in her since she came here.”
He said at the other facilities, Dolly would see him and go into what he called fits.
Lately, Rem said his wife seems calmer and easier to talk to, though she remains quiet during a good portion of their visits.
He said she knows who he is, and their sons. He paused for a moment.
“They don’t come enough,” he said. “I have a few words with them. But they’re both busy.”
As for Dolly, Rem said she knows he can leave the facility. He goes to the store and other places sometimes.
“She wants me to get her key to her car,” he said. “She wants to drive.”
Dolly won’t be driving any time soon, but Rem at least feels confident she is being looked after by staff who seem to care about her.
“I’m thoroughly pleased with the whole staff here,” he said, “from the top on down.”
At top: Rem and Dolly Cason live at the Orchard Park facility in Kyle. The couple, married 62 years, no longer share the same room. Dolly, 82, receives specialized memory care while Rem, 84, is in the assisted living unit. He says she is happier here than the two other facilities he tried, but she still asks him for the car keys. (Photo by Kim Hilsenbeck)
