By Cyndy Slovak-Barton.
Don’t even think those words. Don’t write them. Don’t say them.
Because the NCAA is listening.
Why the sudden need to hush? Because I was just sent a list of copyrighted words that the NCAA has taken over. These are now NCAA trademarks, so I really have to watch what I say. There go all the tales from home.
Growing up in West, Texas, we would travel frequently on this thing that was paved and automobiles traveled on. As kids, we called it a road. Now, we travelled to Houston a bit, and I still do now. So, (NCAA, please don’t dock me on this one) we called it the Road to Houston. Yep, that was Highway 6 to us.
I guess when talking with my siblings about the shenanigans we did in the car on the “asphalt thing to Houston,” I have to stop using the NCAA words.
Speaking of West, my husband and I got married in a Big Czech Wedding. You know, one of those huge parties that go on most of the day. It ends in .... wait for it ... The Big Dance. That’s right, our party had a wedding march where all the couples – hundreds of them – lined up and marched in to music to start “the Huge thing that you do to music.” Whew, I didn’t have to say The Big Dance. Maybe the NCAA won’t sue me.
Wow. What memories I have of West. I tried, but wasn’t tall enough, to play this sport where you had two baskets on each side of the court and would bounce the ball with one hand from one side of the court to the other. What’s that called? Oh, yes. Dribble. I guess I will have to tell my old coach to not use that word anymore. He could get a visit from the NCAA.
West is not the only town affected by the NCAA clampdown.
I hate to tell all of you middle school teachers out there, but you can never again call the first few days of school “Middle School Madness.” The NCAA owns that phrase, too.
And, to the Boerne Champions. I’m so sorry that you chose Champion as your mascot. You see, you can’t ever say “Champions play here” or “Champions win here.” Maybe the cheerleaders can come up with some other catchy phrase to get the spirit out in your school.
Finally, when anyone around here refers to the last four people in any kind of game or race, please don’t say Final Four. That could get you in trouble.
Hmmmm .... I wonder if I can trademark the words “Free Speech.”
Nah. I’m sure the NCAA has already claimed that too.
