by MICHELLE WINN
Welcome to 2013! The world has changed drastically in 20 years. With the rise in technology, the computer and smart phone age has brought ease and comfort to communication; but it has also brought about its own issues as well. Social websites, blogs, text messages and email make it easier for individuals to alienate one another with negativity, bullying has taken a different form from what We knew as children. Now, more than ever, parents and community members need to come together and support one another, and educate our younger generation.
Get involved in activities outside of your comfort zone, expose yourself and your children to different kinds of people. Often people bully because they don’t understand, or don’t accept differences in others. We feel how we feel, and know what we know because of our past, our experiences. We often generalize a belief to a group of people because of lack of exposure or understanding.
Teach and model a non-judgmental attitude. You may not agree with someone, or someone’s way of life, but taunting and disrespect can be avoided.
Build relationships with others who appreciate you for who you are. Teach your children to choose friends that support them.
Be a good listener to others. Do not judge what you hear. Be a problem solver. Be available to listen and talk to your child about what’s going on in their life. Help them to problem solve. You won’t always be there.
Empathize. Take a moment to step out of your experience and into someone else’s shoes.
Teach kindness and model this behavior- be aware of your own inadvertent aggressive behaviors in relationships (eye rolling, sarcasm, sighs…).
When speaking with youth, talk about all sides of the issue. They may be open about telling you about being a “victim” of an incident, but they rarely tell you when they are the aggressor. We all have the potential to be both.
Don’t be the “person in the middle”. If you take the role of “he told me this about you” you become part of the problem. If your child is “in the middle,” firmly and lovingly encourage him/her to support the target, and not take part in the aggression. They should report the aggression to someone in power.
Live in reality: Your kids are probably involved with or at least exposed to texting, sexting, IMing, blogging, posting and more . Learn to Talk, Text, or Tweet with your child and Listen.
Become electronically savvy.
As a family, create a family computer and cell phone rules. Discuss an “open check” policy. If you pay for the services you have the right to check them anytime, but inform your kids of that policy. Sneaking in to check does not allow for building trust.
Do not allow computers in isolated areas and understand blocking and filters. Use them.
Talk about all roles in the real world and cyber world; including alleged target, alleged “bully”, and bystander.
Join organizations and your community that support pease in the world and peaceful efforts around you.
Join us for the Live in Peace Rally, Jan. 23 from 5-7 p.m. at the Buda Park Pavilion. There will be speakers, food and activities, and surprise performances. Hope to see you all there!
Helpful websites:
www.bullyfreekids.com
www.bullying.org
www.pacerkidsagainstbullying.org
www.heyugly.org
www.bullying.com.au
www.survivingbullies.com
www.namesdohurt.com
www. Sprigeo.com
www.ancom.com
Software:
www.keylogger.com (tracks keystrokes, webpages, emails, and IM conversation)
www.eblaster.com
www.watchdogpc.com
Michelle Winn is a counselor at Negley Elementary School
