Conservative media figures apparently have been preaching to their followers that the Census Bureau is a spy agency for President Obama. It would be laughable, if not for the fact that so many conservatives have actually swallowed it.
Look, I get it. You’re scared of the relentless erosion of our civil liberties in the conduct of the so-called “War on Terror.” I have experienced those same fears myself. In fact, the way it looks to me, the longer this indefinite “war” is allowed to continue, the more certain the U.S.A. is to become a dictatorship, no matter which party is in power.
And yes, the IRS scandal gives the appearance that the Obama Administration may have used the apparatus of government for political advantage in the 2012 election. But that is far from certain, and being an American with an American sense of justice, I prefer to reserve judgment until the facts come in. Besides, those Tea Party groups could have functioned as 501.c.4s without applying to the IRS, according to Trevor Potter, former chief counsel for the Federal Elections Commission.
But as far as all this hysteria about the Census Bureau is concerned, I have learned some truth that has set me free from all fears about the census being an invasion of privacy or a spy agency for this President, or any other.
In the first place, the Census Bureau has been in operation since the founding of this country, and has served under every president since George Washington himself. They figured out a very long time ago that if they want American citizens to share the honest truth with them, they have to guarantee the citizens their privacy. So the Census Bureau is very serious about it, and very good at it. Every employee, from the lowliest field agent, right up to the director himself, is bound by a lifetime oath (remains in force even after leaving the Census Bureau) never to reveal, either voluntarily or accidentally, any Personally Identifying Information (PII) about any respondent. That includes any information that could be used either to identify you or to find you. And that oath has teeth. Title 13 of the United States Code provides for fines of up to $250,000 and/or jail sentences up to 5 years.
I recently heard two different guys in two completely different locations say, “Nobody from the government ever goes to jail.” Apparently this is another talking point of the conservative media. If you believe that, you need to get a grip on reality, because frankly, it’s the stupidest thing I have ever heard in my life. Ever heard of Gordon Liddy? Chuck Colson? Rod Blagojevich? Do you really think that census agents are dumb enough to think they have immunity from prosecution, and would risk jail just because you said they could get away with it?
In the second place, Barack Obama had absolutely no role in designing the questions on the American Community Survey (the long form of the census, conducted on an ongoing basis, by a random sample of one out of every 40 addresses). It was being conducted in substantially the same form during the Bush Administration.
In the third place, neither Barack Obama nor any President in U.S. history has ever had access to the PII of any respondent to any census survey. If the Census Bureau ever allowed itself to be used for partisan purposes, it would soon be disbanded, because it would simply be unable to carry out its mandate. The fact is, if Barack Obama and Eric Holder came in person with a search warrant, they could not gain access to your identity. The FBI tried in 1980, and was rebuffed by an ordinary office worker.
But look, you don’t have to believe me, just because both my intelligence and education are above average, and I happen to know a lot about this subject. Nor because I am habitually honest (too lazy to lie, can’t keep all the stories straight).
If you actually believe the Census Bureau is a spy agency for Barack Obama, then you have been sold a bill of goods by a pack of professional fear-mongers who are manipulating you for their personal gain. You have voluntarily put yourself in a prison of fear.
Jesus said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” I have just handed you the key to your prison cell. You can stay in there as long as you like, or you can walk out a free man (or woman). What will it be?
