From the Crow’s Nest
by CLINT YOUNTS
Hey, why don’t we cut ol’ Governor Perry some slack for his little stumble in the debate? So, he forgot a simple little thing like the Department of Energy. Who doesn’t occasionally have a brain fart and forget one item in a landfill of data sitting between your ears? Shoot, I forget stuff all the time. Usually it’s little things like what I went to the refrigerator for, or where did I leave my keys, or why am I at Wal-Mart wearing no pants and carrying a purse? No big deal. It’s not like I forgot that I left my car at the Dairy Queen and reported it stolen.
Guv Perry has a lot on his mind these days. He’s running for president while governing the great state of Texas at the same time. That’s a whopping pile of vittles on one man’s plate. He has to remember all his political stances and proposals, plus try to remember if he turned off the sprinklers back home at his Austin mansion. Imagine how hard it would be standing in front of some cable news reporter asking tough questions about the economy and the national debt while worrying about some Occupy Austin nutcase emptying his bowels in Anita’s flowerbed.
Remember, Rick is a country boy, raised on a farm and attended Texas A&M. He’s used to remembering stuff like keeping his sheep shears oiled and applying udder balm to Ol’ Bessie after each milking. Ask the guy what’s the best kind of manure for growing cucumbers and I bet he’ll rattle off the percentage of nitrogen and phosphorus in your average cow patty. Have Rick name three breeds of dairy cows and see if he stumbles. How can he keep track of all those cabinet secretaries playing Minesweeper in their offices or the percent of unemployed car salesmen in Michigan?
Hey, it’s not like Perry’s the first candidate to screw up during a debate or a campaign speech. During the Democratic National Convention of 1948, Harry S. Truman thought he’d spice up the event by releasing dozens of doves in the convention hall to remind folks he had a hand in winning World War II. Unfortunately, the intense heat in the building caused some doves to die while others, in an attempt to escape, began dive-bombing delegates. I’m sure a feathery re-enactment of Pearl Harbor didn’t sit well with the media.
What about President Obama claiming he has visited 57 states or that Nancy Reagan used to hold séances in the White House? Remember Jimmy Carter blowing any chance of re-election by stating in a Playboy interview that he had lusted after many women? Gerald Ford informed Americans back in 1976 that Poland and other Eastern European countries were not under Soviet control. I wonder if Lech Walesa knew that bit of information.
Now, if we are going to talk about politicians stepping in it, how can we not include the lovable Joe Biden? Good ol’ Joe was being interviewed by Katie Couric one day when he assured Americans that the economy will improve, relating a history lesson. Biden said that during the market crash of 1929, President Franklin D. Roosevelt reassured folks on TV that everything will be all right. The slight problem with this story is that Herbert Hoover was president in ’29 and the television had not even been invented yet. Oops!
And who doesn’t remember Biden carrying on at the podium and requesting wheelchair-bound Senator Chuck Graham to “Stand up, Chuck! Let ‘em see you.” Oops times two!! Abraham Lincoln once said, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” I think Joe needs to brush up on his American history before hitting the campaign trail.
I’m not going to hold Rick Perry’s temporary memory lapse against him. Several fine presidents were forgetful. Ford forgot to duck while exiting his helicopter. Bush forgot that sushi makes him sick. Clinton forgot to tell Monica that he was married. Obama forgot that Quebec and the rest of Canada aren’t part of the United States. And Nixon forgot to tell the truth about being a crook. And most politicians forget their campaign promises shortly after being sworn in. So, Rick’s forgetting one of many benign federal agencies isn’t so bad.
I am following the Republican campaign like a hungry buzzard follows a wounded deer. I’m not going to jump on one candidate but will wait until all the dust settles. I was leaning towards Herman Cain until his handprint kept appearing on women’s thighs. I like Perry as a coyote-shootin’ governor but I have my doubts about him in the Oval Office. I just don’t know if Rick has the right stuff.
Will Rogers once said, “It isn’t what we don’t know that gives us trouble, it’s what we know that ain’t so.” I would rather vote for a candidate who may not remember all the little details than a candidate who can’t remember the truth. Hopefully by the time the primaries roll around, I will have picked a candidate. I just hope I don’t forget to vote.
Clint Younts’ memory is still good, as long as the cows come home. He only shoots off his mouth occasionally.
