I never said goodbye

Right before the holidays, I heard the tragic news that one of my classmates from high school unexpectedly passed away in his New York apartment.

When I knew Nathan, he would light up any room as if it were a stage — a space where he felt comfortable to be truly himself and showcase his talent. He was a part of choir, theatre groups and would always participate in musicals. He played Orin Scrivello in our school’s production of “Little Shop of Horrors” and Gaston in “Beauty and the Beast.”

Even more importantly, Nathan had this contagious kindness and generosity that was felt by everyone he met. He always knew how to make someone laugh with his quick wit and jokes.

Nathan attended Oklahoma City University, where he graduated with a degree in musical theatre in 2022. He moved to New York City nearly two years ago to pursue acting. He also worked as a chess instructor for young children, enjoyed spending time with friends, attended theatrical productions and walked around the city in his spare time.

However, I did not know any of this until I read his obituary. And, unfortunately, I did not know that he died until I read a post on Facebook that his family and friends set up a fund for theatre kids.

This past weekend, I saw an Instagram story that showed framed photos of another former classmate of mine, Tara, with the song “Rainbow” by Kacey Musgraves playing in the background. She died unexpectedly in January, just a few days before her birthday. And this past Saturday was her memorial service.

Tara was known to have an infectious spirit and was spunky, witty, intelligent, fun-loving, classy, creative and compassionate. She enjoyed spending time with her family and friends. Tara’s love for nature’s beauty was well-known, causing her family to accept donations/memorials to be made to plant trees in her honor in lieu of flowers.

She also enjoyed painting that helped her express creativity, antique shopping that instilled a fascination in her of the stories behind the pieces and animals for their innocence and unconditional love.

Just like Nathan, I did not know any of this until I read Tara’s obituary.

I was never super close to Tara. We were on the same tennis team in middle school, graduated high school together in 2016 and then went off to the same college — Texas State University — to then graduate in 2020.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately since I heard the devastating news that these two young souls, at only the ages of 24 and 25, suddenly passed away. I start to think back to the people who I never said goodbye to before high school ended.

I never said goodbye to my former best friend. When I first moved to the then small town of Belton in kindergarten, she was the first person to say ‘hello’ to me and not make me feel like the new kid who had no friends. But we slowly started to drift apart as people as our middle school and high school years came. Yes, we would still say ‘hello’ to each other in the halls, sometimes eat lunch together and have conversations in class — but it was never the same.

I never said goodbye to the choir and theatre kids. When you’re in choir and/or theatre, sometimes it can feel like a competition between the groups — at least it felt like this in my experience. But when you participate in the spring musical every year, those two groups become like one. I grew close to several of my classmates backstage for those four years making costumes, fine-tuning musical numbers, painting set designs, perfecting character hairstyles and more.

I never said goodbye to a lot of people.

Once I hit probably my last semester of high school, I was ready for what the future had for me. My then boyfriend, now husband, and I were heading off to college in the fall, where we were going to pursue academic degrees for our dream jobs. And after a summer of still seeing friends from high school, I never looked back.

For the majority, I still “follow” the people I once was close with in middle/high school on social media. I see their wedding photos, pregnancy announcements, job promotions and more. I like their posts, comment “congratulations” or other sentiments, but it’s not the same.

So, here I am sitting in front of my computer on a cloudy Monday afternoon, thinking about the moments that I wish I would have taken the extra time to ask questions like “what are your plans for after high school” or to just simply check-in with someone that I have not talked to a while and ask “how are you doing?”

I hope I remember next time before it’s too late.

Navarro is the editor of the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached at [email protected].