The battle between anxiety and joy

It was the end of a long week, but more particularly, a long day at work.

I clocked out, walked downstairs at the university’s dining hall and grabbed my stuff out of the locker to leave. Parking was a terrible and annoying concept at my school. Basically, if you were a freshman and purchased a parking pass, your car would likely be sitting in the parking garage until you finished the semester — but if you lived off-campus, you would never find a reasonable place to park your car.

So, nonetheless, I opted to ride the bus to and from work. Even though it meant having to walk from one apartment complex to the next.

It was a Friday or Saturday afternoon; frankly, I can’t remember because I blocked it out. I walked down the hill near my old dorm, where my apartment-specific bus picked up and dropped off students. I didn’t take the regular university bus because, again, the details are fuzzy now.

Ten minutes or so go by, it’s just me and one other girl. I started to hear the pitter patter of the raindrops falling on the covered bench. The rain was getting heavier and heavier. I started becoming frantic. And the rain was not helping. Where is my bus? How am I going to get home?

The other girl's bus came to pick her up.

At this point, I started to call my husband (then-fiancé). He wasn’t picking up. I kept calling. And calling. Still no answer. It turns out that in the midst of all that was going through my head at that moment, I forgot he was at work.

I called my roommate. I think it took a second call to finally reach her. She was cooking dinner, but she could tell in my voice that I was freaking out. This couldn't wait. I needed her to come and pick me up. She did.

That’s the story of my first panic attack, but I didn’t know what it was until years later.

A few weeks ago, I persuaded my husband to go see the new movie, “Inside Out 2.” For those who may, somehow, not know what I am referring to, I’ve got a brief synopsis. Disney describes the movie as a return “ to the mind of newly minted teenager Riley just as headquarters is undergoing a sudden demolition to make room for something entirely unexpected: new Emotions! Joy, Sadness, Anger, Fear and Disgust, who’ve long been running a successful operation by all accounts, aren’t sure how to feel when Anxiety shows up. And it looks like she’s not alone.”

While this movie is probably made or geared toward children, especially with the full animation of it, I think adults have really been the ones who had major takeaways. The first of the series, “Inside Out” was released in 2015 and then the sequel was released just this year in 2024. That means that a lot of us who watched the first one were young — I was still in high school — and now, we are full-fledged adults.

There is one particular scene that really stood out to me, and I am probably not the only one. It was when the newly introduced, silly-looking, orange character, who is perfectly named Anxiety, has a panic attack.

Toward the end of the movie, Anxiety becomes panicked when she accidentally develops Riley’s — the main character who just became a teenager — belief that she is not good enough after being sent to the penalty box during a hockey game. She is trying to fix the situation and starts to move faster and faster, essentially spinning out of control, and is in the midst of a panic attack. The audience can see/hear that her heart is racing, her body is shaking and she is completely freaked out. Everything is spinning around her, but she is almost frozen.

Before all of this, Anxiety was introduced to the storyline with other emotions — Embarrassment, Envy and Ennui — and there is a conflict that becomes so heavily present throughout the movie between Anxiety and Joy. They just want what they think is best for Riley. The new emotions, with Anxiety as the leader, basically took over headquarters in Riley’s mind and ultimately, kicked out the originals — Joy, Fear, Disgust, Anger and Sadness.

When the original emotions could see that Riley’s sense of self was changing, maybe not for the best, we could tell that Joy was starting to break down. She was always happy. About everything. We hear Joy say the line that none of us want to hear, but it’s probably the most relatable: “Maybe this is what happens when you grow up. You feel less joy.”

Ultimately, after Joy was able to save Anxiety from the attack, Anxiety admitted that she was just trying to protect Riley, which I think speaks volumes on why we, as humans, have that emotion in the first place.

Sometimes, anxiety can be a good thing. And sometimes, we can’t always feel joy.

I think the creators of “Inside Out 2” did a phenomenal job of how they portrayed the balancing act between anxiety and joy. I also think the anxiety or panic attack was well thought out; I would say the majority of the adult viewers, but maybe even the young ones too, have felt what Riley felt in that moment.

Lastly, Joy’s previously mentioned quote that broke all of us. Do I even need to explain this one? As we grow up and become adults with adult responsibilities, life happens. Things happen. Tragedy happens. Sadness happens. Anger happens. Anxiety happens. And so on and so forth.

Growing up does not mean the end of happiness. It just means a different kind of joy. It’s the silent thrill of waking up early enough to enjoy a cup of coffee before work. Hanging out with close friends who are moving away after a long shift. The sheer bliss of a Friday afternoon at 5 o’clock. The warmth and comfort you feel when you hug a loved one that you have not seen in months. Moving closer to family and friends when you have been waiting for this moment for the last three years.

When we were kids, joy came from opening presents filled with toys on Christmas morning, sharing the silliest secrets with your best friend, board games and hide-and-seek during sleepovers, choosing every kind of ice cream topping you can think of and more.

Happiness is still possible when you are an adult, but it’s just going to look a little different from when you were an innocent young kid who felt magic in every moment.

I am grateful that, even though they may be labeled as children’s movies, “Inside Out” and especially “Inside Out 2” are created to showcase the topic of mental health as seriously as it is. The creators depicted mental health problems in a way that adults are able to speak to children about it and help them feel comfortable enough to share their experiences.

To Pixar and Disney, my inner child thanks you.

Navarro is editor at the Hays Free Press and News-Dispatch. She can reached via email at megan @haysfreepress.com.