Marisa Renteria, mother of a 3-year-old and a newborn, recently saw her son’s vocabulary drop from 50 words to 10; he was diagnosed with speech delay. After attending school, her son’s vocabulary sprang back to 60 words. But since schools have closed with no end in sight, Renteria worries that her son may regress and has seen hints of it.
“School really helped with progressing his speech,” Renteria said, “even his social interactions. He doesn’t have cousins or kids his age to interact with. That was one of the things he was looking forward to about school.”
This mother is not alone in her experience, and other Hays CISD mothers expressed concern about what may come for their children’s education. Many of these worries are shared by parents, regardless if their child has special needs or not, but these parents may face added difficulties. They are dealing with issues of skill regression, socialization and keeping children in a healthy routine. Two experts shared their views on how parents can battle the stay-at-home orders so they and their children can overcome these problems.
“All students may have regression, especially in an unprecedented time like this,” said Debbie Moore, Special Education Resource and Coteach/Inclusion teacher at Kyle Elementary School.
Moore added that teachers have been working virtually to keep children from regressing. If parents feel worried, they should ask for a conference with their child’s general education teacher and the special education case manager. She emphasized that getting in touch with the educators is a key component.
Sabrina Jordan, a mother of a 9-year-old and 5-year-old, both with special needs, said that kids with special needs demand more one-on-one time, but she is not trying to stress about not having that privilege. She believes the situation will correct itself later. Jordan has a strong faith in the school system and its ability to make up for the lost time.
She talked about some advice her teacher friends gave her. “Don’t put so much pressure on yourself, just teach them the basic life skills you don’t usually have time for.”
She took that advice and decided to help her 9-year-old learn how to bake a cake. Her daughter made a cake from a mix as Jordan watched over her shoulder in case she needed help. Baking a cake from a mix may seem simple, but Jordan said this will teach her daughter self-sufficiency.
Many parents expressed an understanding that the school district is working as best it can with the situation that has been handed to them. They do not feel anger and, instead, they believe teachers are doing the best job they can, given these circumstances.
But because access to school and teachers is limited, Elizabeth Burke, Special Education coordinator, wants to give advice on how parents can help their special needs kids.
“What really matters are the experiences we create for our children,” Burke said. “As an adult, our anxieties are being triggered by our previous experiences and influence our response to current events. We can be mindful of this and create a different experience for our children.”
She suggests that parents set realistic experiences for their kids and themselves by not trying to overachieve.
This is a time when children’s routines have been overcome by new bedtimes, mealtimes, meal choices and activities. Burke suggests that parents set a routine and create a visual schedule as they would have in school. Parents should also allow their children to pick the topic they want to work on first and learn in chunks of 20 to 30 minutes. Between the breaks, they should include preferred activities.
Renteria found it difficult to get her son to eat at home, so she got creative and constructed a school cafeteria ambience for him. Every child differs, but this is one way Renteria has tried battling the nutrition problem.
Children learn differently, so Burke suggested allowing them to naturally gravitate to their methods. For example, if the teacher asks that they read a story, it is okay to let them listen to it instead.
Independent learning is another component to boost their knowledge.
“It is okay to walk away and let them struggle with the content a little bit,” Burke said. “It is okay to not have all the answers. The best educators say, ‘I don't have the answer to that. Let's see if we can figure it out together’.”
This method will teach children how to research answers.
Sometimes when a kid does not have the language or communication skills to ask for help, their behavior may be communicating that a task is too hard. If things become difficult, Burke said parents should be flexible by making accommodations and modifications.
Parents should not stress about grades; instead they should try to create a calm environment around education that will help the child understand. This is not a time to worry about how much kids are learning, it is that they are learning, Burke said.
“Honestly, educators do not know how we are going to grade at this time,” Burke added. “We have to think about equity for our kiddos. Some families are dealing with a health crisis, financial crisis and/or a combination. A grade cannot be a measure of student success during this time.”
Still, it may not be easy to unwind in these situations. Renteria has tried to keep her anxiety hidden from her child and lets it out when she is alone.
One parent, Alexandra Gilhooly, has been trying to make the best of a bad situation. She has found some comedic relief in memes, renewed her love for playdough and building blocks.
Renteria and Jordan have also enjoyed the extra time they get to spend with their families.
“The positive is my family,” Renteria said. “We are staying with my parents, we’re all together and he at least has us. [My husband] is getting to see our son and the family seems way more involved than anything. It’s had a positive effect on [our son], especially when he wakes up and sees dad here.”
