Since the early days of existence, there has been a consistent drive for people to enhance communication amongst each other. From pictures and drawings, to the spoken word, to the written word and everything in between, humans are built on a need to communicate.
For as long as I can remember, I have been an extremely non-confrontational person. I am the type to choose my words carefully and I find that I am able to communicate in a manner that is most effective in getting my point across in writing, rather than speaking.
Call it anxiety or hindsight, but often over the course of my life, I have found myself saying something in the moment, only to later realize it didn’t fully encompass what I was trying to say, leading me to (usually) send a long text to make sure my point is made.
Today, a recent conversation with a new friend is bouncing around in my mind.
In my first conversation with this new friend, she explained that she is the type of person that people just tend to walk up and talk to. Perfect strangers are drawn to her to share, in some cases, intimate details about their lives.
And let me tell you, I certainly believe her because, before I knew it, I, too, was drawn to a deep conversation with her about communication in today’s age and the struggle I have with feeling misunderstood.
It got me thinking, what happened to the art of communication? You know, talking to someone face to face, listening to understand, not just to respond?
I wonder if it’s the emergence of technology and the ability for non-confrontational people (like myself) to be able to say things via a screen that they would never say in person.
I wonder if it’s a global pandemic that shuttered the population in our houses for months with only digital forms of communication.
I think both of those things have definitely contributed.
What I actually believe, however, is that, somewhere along the way, people lost the ability, or maybe just the desire, to understand. So, eventually, the desire to be understood became too overwhelming for a lot of people.
If nobody cares to hear and understand how I actually think or feel, why in the world would I open myself up to the criticism of their misunderstanding?
The truth is, though, you can’t control how other people perceive your words. All you can do is say them in a way that is respectful, concise and right to you.
I have a motto with my friends and family that I use often, it is, “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
So today, dear readers, I challenge you to get a tiny bit out of your comfort zone and start to bring back the art of communication.
Whether that’s telling a mom with an upset child in the grocery store that she’s doing a great job or taking the time to have that conversation you’ve been putting off with a loved one, don’t wait. And then, listen to understand.
They call it the art of communication, but I would argue it’s more of a skill we must hone. The more we talk, the easier it becomes. The more we listen, the easier it becomes.
Choose your words wisely, but go out there and speak them.
Kontnier is the publisher of the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached via email at [email protected].
