“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.'” - C.S. Lewis
I’ve never been one to have this giant group of friends whose lunch group would stretch across multiple tables in the high school cafeteria or who would take up several rows of bleachers at the Friday night football games. No, I was the girl who had just a handful of those she would let in.
Lauren
A now mother of three sweet and beautiful children with their own unique personalities. Lauren was the new girl in seventh grade when we met in English class back in 2010/2011 and we almost instantly clicked; we sat on the opposite sides of the classroom, which was probably a good idea in hindsight or else we would be nonstop talking.
The weekends were made for us. We had sleepovers, went on spontaneous photoshoots, created our own music videos, watched movies, screamed at Lauren’s laptop during our marathon of “Pretty Little Liars,” ate too much buttered popcorn and more.
Lauren has always been there. We have been friends for more than a decade, watched and encouraged each other through different stages of life from going to separate high schools to me going away to college to her standing by my side at my wedding and to her becoming a mom. I went to her third baby shower a couple of weeks ago and I was one of three longtime friends who were there. “When I do friendships, I do friendships,” she said, emphasizing that she’s in it for the long-run and I am too.
Now, our get-togethers are not the same as they were when we were in middle or high school. I show up to her house with lunch in hand and just hang out on her couch, while her children are playing or napping in the next room. We talk for an hour or two like no time has passed because it truly feels like it hasn’t — even when I lived six-plus hours away, she didn’t forget about me and I didn’t forget about her.
Jessica
Jess has always been the spunky and spontaneous one. A true Enneagram 7. She is always down for a good time, but if you need someone to just grab coffee with and chat for a few minutes — about something really simple or deep — she is there for that, too.
We’ve been friends since middle school when we just had some random classes together, but then, in high school, we got closer during the musical season. If you’ve ever been in a musical production of any sort, you know that it’s several months worth of hours-long rehearsals, late night snack and dinner runs, endless carpools, breathing in copious amounts of hairspray, etc.
Then, we went our separate ways to college, but we never strayed away from our friendship; she was also there as a bridesmaid in my wedding. Even now, we still do random check-ins with each other as much as we can to make sure the other is doing alright as we all navigate the adulting world.
Kidron
Kidron and I met when she started working at this small bakery cafe that I was, unbeknownst at the time that we both were already going to the same high school. We grew close taking orders, making sandwiches and pouring soup, staying late to close and then, eventually, starting to hang out outside of work.
If I could describe Kidron using a color, it would be yellow and if I could describe her using one word, it would be joy. Ever since I met her in that sandwich shop all those years ago, she has been a true light in my life.
She has been there for the real moments: she bought one of the first coffee cups in my collection as a high school graduation gift; she photographed my bridal portraits, wedding photos and anniversary celebrations for my husband and I; she traveled near and far when I lived six hours away; and she has been there for the wonderful treasures found in antique shops.
The list goes on and on to this past weekend, when I was on the verge of tears, seeing Kidron get married to the love of her life. The day was so special. It encompassed their relationship into the perfect wedding filled with: an intimate group of friends and family to share the day with; handpicked florals from around town; a five-minute rain shower to christen the moment; and her dress, a satin vintage pick paired with her trusty hiking boots. She found the love that she was meant to.
Tessa
My friendship with Tessa is the result of the butterfly effect, which describes how a tiny change in the initial stages of a system can cause huge, non-linear consequences elsewhere over time, according to The Decision Lab. Also, mathematician and meteorologist Edward Norton Lorenz suggested that a flap of a butterfly’s wing in one corner of the world could cause a tornado elsewhere weeks later.
My story with Tessa started a little later than the other three, but it is no less special. During the late summer of 2016, I showed up to Texas State University at my new dorm, Elliott Hall. My roommate, Tessa, had already been there for a week or so, as she was a member of the marching band and so, she was away at practice when I first showed up with my parents to move in. I walked in and immediately saw two things: an elephant coffee mug and an elephant pillow. Fun fact: my favorite animal is an elephant.
Soon thereafter, we became best friends, which seems like one in a million because you often hear these crazy roommate stories, but we were lucky. We weren’t planning to come and have an instant friendship, but we are so glad it had a happy ending.
If we didn’t choose Elliott Hall during random roommate matching, we might never have met each other. We might never have been able to make the trek up and down the hills of the university’s campus to class. We might have never been able to drink Starbucks frappuccinos in the middle of the winter on campus. We might have never been able to move into a new dorm sophomore year or our big girl apartment junior year together. We also might have never been able to be maid of honor in each other’s weddings.
We might never have been able to do a lot of things, but I am so glad we did.
I’ve found that making friends when you become an adult is one of the hardest challenges I have had to face, but I am thankful for the friends — the ones listed above and the ones who I did not mention — who have stuck by me, whether it’s been more than a decade or just a few years. I don’t know what I would have done without them.
Navarro is the executive editor for the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached by emailing [email protected].
