The following article is part four of a four-week series focusing on raising awareness about dating violence. February is Dating Violence Awareness Month and Hays-Caldwell’s Women Center hopes to educate the community on this important issue. One in three young people will experience dating violence in their lifetime. Locally, the HCWC has been serving victims of domestic and dating violence, sexual assault and child abuse since 1978. Last year, HCWC served 2,277 victims of abuse (face-to-face) primarily from Hays and Caldwell counties.
SAN MARCOS — Dating violence, in public perception, looks loud and obvious, according to the Hays-Caldwell Women’s Center. Abuse is often subtle, controlled and strategic.
Coercive control is a form of systemic abuse that gains power and control over a person through repeated behavior of intimidation, manipulation and isolation. An abuser's goal in using this tactic is to erode one's autonomy, so a person no longer perceives their life and actions as their own.
So, how can we recognize this behavior? The following are examples of some of the most common features of coercive control:
• Social isolation: An abuser will create distance from the victim's support systems, like friends or family, to enforce isolation and dependence.
• Constant monitoring: An abuser will enforce this by continuously monitoring the victim's life through check-ins, looking through their phone, sharing locations, having access to emails or social media and insisting on always being around.
• Economic abuse: An abuser may enforce this by controlling the victim's finances, prohibiting them from working, sabotaging job opportunities and limiting access to material support.
• Threats and intimidation: An abuser may use threats and intimidation to create fear, enforce obedience and limit the victim's ability to act independently.
• Emotional manipulation: An abuser may create feelings of guilt, shame or fear to maintain the victim's obedience.
Recognizing this behavior in a relationship requires analysis of past a single incident. Take note of patterns, changed behavior, power dynamics, inconsistencies and ulterior motives.
If one finds themselves abandoning the things that are meaningful, questioning choices or feeling like a partner's comfort is more important than their autonomy, seek support.
HCWC is committed to providing free, safe and confidential services to victims of dating violence. If experiencing dating violence, call HELPLine 24/7 at 512-396-4357. For additional information, visit www.stopthehurt.org. HCWC’s prevention educators are available to give presentations and education about dating violence.
