This is a coronavirus story with no tragic losses, no major life changes and no grim endings; rather, this is a coronavirus story about a series of unfortunate events leading to a pleasant end. Instead of getting married in the breezy and cool months of spring, these couples will settle for the hot Texas months of summer – the list of changes goes on.
And yet, the couples have all managed to find the positive outcomes of their plan changes while going through something akin to the five stages of grief. These brides and grooms have spent months writing out a guest list, matching the perfect concoction of colors, picking the gown to start off a new chapter, and crying when one minor detail in the wedding goes awry. Really, there are hundreds of details that move the gears of this one momentous day, and then suddenly all the gears shifted.
The three couples who spoke to the Hays Free Press and News-Dispatch have all come to terms about their wedding day changes and have adjusted to the new restrictions, but getting to this moment took a lot of planning and an emotional toll.
“It’s definitely still a rollercoaster,” said one bride, McKenna Carr. “There are still moments that come and go with realization of, ‘oh this person won’t be able to make it,’ or we will be really careful with making sure to stress to guests the importance of social distancing.”
Another bride, Camille Chapman, said she has been very hands-on with the wedding, so having to deal with making large sudden changes a few months away from the wedding shook her. For several weeks, Chapman asked her family to get in touch with the guests because she did not have the strength to respond to people.
“I was so broken and didn’t even want to think about it,” Chapman said, “but I got through that stage. I got back into planning and being hands on.”
Most of the grief came when couples found out so many of their loved ones would not be able to come support them on their biggest day.
Yutaka Maki, who will be marrying Carr, will miss his parents and siblings at the wedding. His family lives in Japan and making the flight out is no longer a viable option. When life handed Maki and Carr lemons, the couple got creative and decided to make the wedding Zoom-friendly.
The couple believes this is an indirect blessing because so many people they could not originally invite will be able to watch their wedding.
Carr and Maki are not alone in this situation; the three couples said they all saw people fall off the guest list. Generally, they are the older guests, grandparents, immunocompromised people, and those who are flying in.
Besides having to change their guest list, the couples have come to terms that this wedding might look slightly different than what they had in mind. Carr and Maki will be asking their guests to wear face masks when they are walking around the venue, although this is not something all the couples requested.
There will be subtle differences, but the couples are not very affected by them.
“I don’t know that my expectations have changed much from the original date,” Chapman told the Hays Free Press, “we just want to have fun with our guests, let loose, party, see family members and friends we don’t always get to see. I don’t think this will even cross our minds.”
When describing their experience in plan changes, the word anxiety was thrown around plenty. But the support of the significant others seemed to shine through and put anxiety to sleep.
“If you can get through a pandemic and re-plan your wedding,” said one bride, Dani Braun, “you can get through anything!”
Braun said her fiancé understood her love language, and when she first found out about the changes they would have to make, he gave her the space she needed. She attributes keeping her cool to her fiancé’s support. Eventually, the couple turned to humor. They remade their save-the-date cards into a social distancing themed photoshoot.
The coronavirus put these couples’ love to a new test and they all found the same result; they are right for one another and that as long as they get married, the other details are minor.
“We were vulnerable with each other on how we feel day-to-day,” Carr said, “we allow each other to feel the ebb and flow. Yutaka and I can be partners even as the frustrations come and go.”
