[dropcap]T[/dropcap]rying to lend a helping hand to Hays CISD students and staff coping with loss is an all too familiar occurrence for Charlotte Winkelman, the district’s director of guidance and counseling.
With the assistance of a dedicated plan and numerous staff members, Winklemann and her team support many who grieve during difficult circumstances.
Such was the case last week as the Hays CISD community mourned the loss of Brynn Aylor, who was killed in a tragic accident.
Winkleman said the initial approach to such events is to begin instilling the district’s crisis plan, which involves the help of a “core group” of counselors who have experience in dealing with grief.
Within the plan, the district’s counseling team sets up different rooms where they can meet with students. In the event of a student or teacher passing away, the district will follow their respective schedules and have two counselors on hand to escort students to a dedicated counseling area.
Teachers and staff are also given a counseling room and are allowed to talk with counselors on an individual or group basis. Winkleman said the district has an employee assistance program that allows free counseling assistance to staff members.
The team also begins talking with staff members to provide guidelines on what to do, and not to do, in the classroom following a death or accident.
One of the key attributes is having students and staff reminisce in a positive light about the student or staff member who passed away.
“We allow them to grieve, but we do not allow them to talk about details if it’s an accident,” Winkleman said. “A lot of times they are under investigation.”
“We allow them to grieve, but we do not allow them to talk about details if it’s an accident ... A lot of times they are under investigation.” Charlotte Winkelman, HCISD director of guidance and counseling
The team also guides students and staff on social media etiquette. In many circumstances, social media is where information that is not fact and is more drama surrounding a traumatic event can build, Winkleman said.
She added the district does its best to teach social media etiquette to students.
“But in the moment, people write and do things and put photos online,” Winkleman said. “They don’t know who’s reading those and how it’s going to affect someone’s life.”
Winkleman said the counseling team then sends an email blast to all counselors in the district and to the Community in Schools staff to be on “high alert” that they may be needed to help.
Aylor’s death brings this counseling plan to the forefront as her death affected two schools and touched “a lot of lives” within the district.
Helping students prepare for the return of siblings who are affected by tragedy is also a plan of action.
Winkleman said counselors instruct students on what to say and not to say to a grieving family member. In some instances, some classrooms will make a card for those who are grieving.
For younger students, reading books on death or grieving in a group setting is a method counselors will employ to discuss a tragedy or death. Sit-down floor conversations is the route taken for older elementary school students.
Counselors approach middle school students with classroom guidance while high school students are spoken with on an individual basis.
In addition, counselors contact students who may be at-risk following a tragedy. The parents of at-risk students are also contacted, in order to ensure they are keeping an eye on them, Winkleman said.
After a week or so, the district offers grief groups in which students can speak with counselors. In addition, Winkleman and her staff monitor the Hays Hopeline, which is a confidential way for students and parents to report personal crisis.
Building an “army of support” around grieving students is what Winkleman stresses to parents.
She also encouraged parents to contact the district or respective school if they begin to see signs that their student is at-risk, or if they wish to check on them as well.
Winkleman said constant communication with students is a key element for parents when tragic circumstances arise. However, she said parents should avoid expressing feelings if it could make the situation worse.
“Be there for the child and always listen,” Winkleman said.
