By Clint Younts
I don’t know about all y’all, but I’m fed up with all these TV streaming services. You know those channels or networks or whatever they call themselves; they are as numerous as fire ants on a marshmallow. If y’all have one of those Roku thingamabobs and have an hour to kill, just take a gander at all the streaming channels available. No, don’t do it right now. Go ahead and finish reading this or you might forget about me.
If any of y’all are anywhere as old as I am, you might recall back when you were a kid and having just three or four channels to watch, depending on weather conditions. Your dad might’ve wrapped aluminum foil around the TV antenna for better reception, and he probably also had you move the rabbit ears around until you found the right spot. Some of you young whippersnappers are wondering what rabbit ears are, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you. And if I told you our phones were wired to the wall, you’d probably think I was plumb loco.
Oh, I could reminisce about the good old days for hours, but I’m here today to fuss about some of these stupid streaming channels. First of all, there are some channels that were once on regular cable TV, but now they planted the plus sign behind their name and are streaming through the Ethernet. The “Plus” means they’ve added new shows and some are commercial free, but it also means you have to pay extra for it.
So, with me being a tad frugal, I simply don’t subscribe to these channels. I’d rather have a plus sign in my bank statement than a minus sign. I think I pay too much already for the streaming channels I currently have, and I’m not about to pay an extra $4.95 a month just to watch some show that I used to watch back when the channel had no plus sign.
Now, these greedy network executives have come up with a way to get poor folks like me to dish out an extra $4.95 every month. They start a steaming channel that’s free, and then they air a really good show on it. You watch one episode and then another. You’re hooked like a bass on a spinner lure. Then, the following week, you sit in front of your TV, all excited to see what Beth does this week, and the show’s not on.
After flipping through all 203 channels on your TV, you can’t find your new favorite show. So you go online and see you have to subscribe to Paramount + to watch episode 3. You’re thinking this ain’t right, but then you start having Yellowstone withdrawals. You’re hooked like a meth addict. You need a hit. You’ve gotta see who Rip takes to the train station this week. Then, after paying for yet another channel, the show jumps ship and I can’t get it on any network.
Oh, Paramount’s not the only streaming service to do this. Peacock showed its true colors when it premiered a new show recently. I watched it and was all excited to see episode 2. But what to my wondering eyes should appear but a message on my TV screen that said I have to subscribe to Peacock + to watch the rest of the episodes. Stinkin’ bird!
I’m sure other streaming services stoop to this devious practice. It reminds me of those drug pushers who hand out a free sample to a high school kid, then charge a large amount when the kid returns for more. Or a pharmaceutical company that claims their pill is non-addictive. It’s kinda hard not to pay an extra $4.95 to see Sam Elliot and Tim McGraw in a great cowboy show. Lucky for me, I can watch other cowboy shows for free on GRIT as long as the weather cooperates and I find the right spot to put my TV antenna.
