Guest Column
by RAY WOLBRECHT
Recently a federal judge ruled that, in his opinion, California jails are over crowded and thus he ordered that some 35,000 inmates have to be released from their incarcerated condition. Texas had the same problems as California during the days of Gov. Bill Clements, both financial and sequestrial (that’s nothing to do with horse racing). So they let a bunch of inmates out without regard to the nature of their crimes and we experienced the abduction and torture and murder of Colleen Reed and as many as six other women at the whims of Kenneth McDuff, a man who had already cruelly murdered three teenagers two decades previously.
California had created a “three strikes you’re out” law to address the problems of revolving door prisons. Here’s a case I read about:
This pencil-head petty criminal had been in jail twice for attempted this or attempted that two times. Never could finish anything he started. He got out the second time and got back with his pals in the hood and they went to a pizza parlor, where on a dare, he went over to a table where some young teens were eating. With that “whaddya gonna do about it” look on his face he picked up and ate some of their pizza, smiling all the time during the intimidation. Twenty minutes later the police arrested him down the street and since this was his third offense he qualified as a career criminal and received a sentence of 20 years with parole possible in six years. Now it costs California a lot more to house an inmate than Texas and I heard that Texas pays over $22,000 per year for one convict. For stealing pizza he will cost the state of California $200,000 at least.
I think I have a better idea that hasn’t been tried yet. FDR when he was concocting New Deal programs was often asked by panicky staff, “What if it doesn’t work?” He answered by merely saying, “Then we’ll try something else.” I liked that. So here’s my idea:
Remember that 18-year-old American kid that got caught tagging in Malaysia? Well he got a sentence of eight swats with a cane pole about six feet long done by a skilled martial artist.
No mistakes here about intentions. It was designed to reduce recidivism. Well there was some international outcry and the kid got four or five instead. Thus was born my perfect plan:
The judge ponders the nature of the crime and tells the convicted one that he or she qualifies for corporal punishment instead of prison time. Now the U.S. Constitution (the paper, not the ship) forbids “cruel and unusual punishment.” But if the con is able to choose his punishment and signs a consent form then it is not unconstitutional. It is a volunteered event. This is a way to get it over quick without years of appeals and expensive lawyers. It also saves the state gobs of money.
The otherwise inmate is immediately taken to a courtyard after having his health assessed, put in a restrained position with the bare hiney in the air and the swats are administered in rapid succession. If later it is found that he was not guilty then he isn’t due a huge wad of taxpayer money from years of cell time. Maybe some Oreos and a glass of real cold milk
The theory of such punishment works like this:
Up to now he hasn’t done any self examination. He has kept on doing the same old stuff, expecting different results. There’s a blockage somewhere in the brain. When cane meets butt it creates a lightning bolt of pain that travels up the spinal cord with such mass and inertia that it breaks through that blockage and suddenly the cerebrum engages unused neurons which makes him exclaim, “I now understand!” And the subliminal message is, “I’m never gonna be here again!”, which were my thoughts exactly when I got three licks in the vice principal’s office during my last semester of senioritis. In some cases the caning might resemble, if it’s done right, a near death experience in which the recipient sees the face of the all perfect God and then he realizes in His presence how truly sinful he is and how truly sinful the culture of man is in which he has lived. Check out Isaiah Ch. 6. At that point he changes or condemns himself to perdition. A little salvation message here; I couldn’t help from doing it.
In his life, up to this point, he has defied the laws of man without thinking that there is an infinitely higher authority who makes laws which are non negotiable. Up to this point he’s subconsciously thought that why should he obey laws made by people who are many times more corrupted than he is? So far, the highest authority he has experienced has been the police and judges and/or an off and on sire that beat and likely molested him. Faced with the highest authority then there can be no more excuses.
This hasn’t been tried yet so who is to say it won’t work?
I have a different idea how to cure the incurable pedophiles. He or she will never want to see undeveloped genitalia ever again. That’s for later.
That’s what I think, but I could be wrong, you know.
