Counselor’s Corner
by CHARLOTTE WINKELMANN
As a parent, you want what’s best for your child; however you define “best” – a great education, social and athletic success, and the support of a loving family. And, like most parents, you probably believe that no one knows your child’s needs and desires better than you do. You may be right. Or you may be seeing the child you want to see rather than the person your child really is. It’s hard not to project your own needs, desires and goals onto your child. But you’re asking for trouble if you hang on to expectations that don’t match your child’s personality, abilities or interests. Parents have dreams about who their children will become.
The first step is getting to know the person your child is today. Spend time together: share an activity you both like, learn a new skill from each other or simply talk. Aim for an atmosphere of trust and acceptance. Try to be supportive and open. And ease up on the pressure – being a child today can be tough enough. It’s obvious when your child’s musical tastes differ from yours, but what about subtler, deeper differences? Does your child place the same value on money, job security, creativity, independence and altruism as you? Your child’s direction in life will be influenced by those beliefs and values.
Communicate with language your child understands. Make sure that the message you intend is the one being heard. Of course, communication is a two-way street. Try to listen to what your child is really telling you. Make time to sit with your child and discuss any problems, concerns and successes.
You can also learn a lot from your child’s favorite activities, in class and out. Help your child explore colleges and careers that offer opportunities to learn more about these interests. At the same time, encourage your child to keep options open through exposure to a broad range of experiences, like trips to art and science museums or sporting events.
Getting to know your child is complicated by the emotional and intellectual growth your child is undergoing. After all, school is a time of self-discovery. It’s a time for your child to explore identity, test boundaries and find a place in the world.
There are various activities planned this year by your school counselor to assist you and your student in exploring interests and planning for their educational future. Talk to your school counselor. There are also several weeks planned throughout the year: “College Go Get it Week” at each High School in October, “Generation TX” district-wide in November, and “Planning for Tomorrow…Today” in January.
Getting to know who your child is, and helping him/her pursue goals, is the best way to ensure your child’s future happiness and success. The counseling department in Hays CISD is ready to assist.
