Hays County Constable James Kohler steps out of his signature green car, a 1978 Plymouth Salon, following a ride around the block. Kohler is asking $7,000 or best offer for the vehicle. (Photo by Wes Ferguson)
by WES FERGUSON
For sale: a 1978 Plymouth Salon. Avocado-green paint. Not appropriate for all drivers – especially no teenagers.
“I don’t want to get ’em killed,” says the car’s owner, Hays County Constable James Kohler.
The speedy green hot rod is legendary in the Kyle area, where Kohler has served as constable for the past three decades. Over the years, his Plymouth has rumbled through countless parades, chaperoned school buses on the road to playoff football games and been featured in a recurring campaign slogan: “Re-elect Constable Kohler, the man in the green patrol car.”
The green machine is lightning quick, too, having chased down four motorcycles in its heyday. Kohler has pushed the pedal to 152 miles per hour.
“It’ll run faster than that,” he says.
Here the constable grins knowingly, revealing a cheek-full of Taylor’s Pride, the cheapest chewing tobacco on the market. Like his green Plymouth, Kohler is something of a local legend. He is 71 years old, and he wears dark aviator sunglasses, a shiny star on his chest, and a white shirt stretched over a grand lawman’s belly.
On a dusty afternoon at his Precinct 2 office in Kyle, Kohler unlocks the car door and slides onto the plush, green driver’s seat. The motor turns over on the second crank. Kohler rolls down his window as the engine growls to life. The constable throws it in gear, then stops short.
“Put my damn seat belt on,” he mumbles.
Don’t want to forget that.
“Have to give myself a ticket.”
After buckling up, Kohler pulls onto the road. He turns the corner and gooses the engine, and for a second or two the car is off to the races. Kohler gets his fix of the Plymouth’s power, and he eases off the gas.
“I just pushed it a little bit,” he says.
Kohler bought the Plymouth a year or two after he was first elected constable, in 1978. In his 33 years in office, he has raised more than $400,000 in scholarships from Hays County’s annual 4-H livestock show. He says he has helped to raise more than that for other stuff. Next March, he will be running in his 10th election.
“I’m going at least one more term,” he says.
Kohler parks the Plymouth after his joyride and admits he isn’t looking forward to the day when he hands over the keys to the next owner.
“Well, I won’t feel good about it,” he says. “It’s kind of like tradition.”
But the car just doesn’t get driven much anymore. Kohler takes it out for a spin every month to make sure it’s running right, but he hasn’t used the Plymouth for routine duties since 1994, when he was issued his first county-owned vehicle.
The for sale sign went up in the windshield about a month ago. Kohler is asking $7,000 or the best offer. He’s had a lot of calls, and a few people have looked at it.
The vehicle has about 25,000 miles on the motor. Maybe 500,000 miles altogether. Gets 11 or 12 miles per gallon. The custom green paint, Kohler’s trademark, can be found beneath a film of dust.
All the car needs is a wash.
“Rinse that sucker off,” Kohler says, “it’ll shine like a dollar.”
