You are not too much, you are just enough

“Can I let you in on a little secret?

Not everyone likes you.

I mean, maybe not right now, but at some point in your life, there will be people that don’t like you.

People that don’t get you.

People that roll their eyes when you start speaking.

People that ignore you when you walk into a room.

People that won’t make room for you at their table.

Want to know another little secret?

It doesn’t matter.

Not even a little.

You see, you aren’t here in this life to make everyone happy. You aren’t here to be everyone’s favorite. You aren’t here to be perfect.

Everyone can’t be your focus.

And once you realize that truth and stop trying to understand why some people ice you out or talk behind your back or don’t like the sound of your voice, well that’s when you can really start living!

Next time you walk into a room and start to panic about someone there not liking you, remember this secret: it doesn’t matter.

The people that love you, they matter.

The things that bring you joy, they matter.

The values around which you build your life, they matter.

Even if you don’t matter to everyone - you matter to the important ones.

So, get out there and live your life. Let the haters fade into the background where they belong.

And let your true self shine bright.

It matters.”

- Changing Perspectives with Jenni Brennan

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I asked my husband a question the other day that was lingering in my head: Do you ever feel like you are too much for some people?

And I wasn’t talking about him. I was talking about myself.

When you’re young and it’s the first day of school — or maybe when you start a new job — you just want people to like you. Whether you share your favorite hobbies, how you grew up or that odd skill you always shy when asked to “tell us a fun fact about yourself,” you want to make friends. It’s human nature.

Well, for the past couple of weeks, my people-pleasing and overthinking mentalities have been in overdrive.

I am in a group text with eight other people, planning a bachelorette weekend for my best friend. As the matron of honor, and being the organized person I am, I have been sending multiple messages in the group about the itinerary of activities, where we are staying, etc.

Right after I send a text, no matter if I get a response or not, I start to second-guess myself. And negative thoughts start to creep in and the not-so-welcome mat meets my overthinking:

• “That sounded annoying”

• “Maybe you shouldn’t have sent that”

• “They don’t like you”

However, I know — after giving myself time to cool down — that none of that is true. The majority of people are not going to get annoyed by me sending them a text about our trip, where we are celebrating our friend. They do like me.

The last couple of weeks are not new to me. I’ve always been like this, for as long as I can remember, just second-guessing every move that I make. I overthink.

I think way too much about a text I sent and then about how long it may take for that person to respond — oh, and if they do respond, what their response actually means, especially if it’s just a “K” or “Fine.”

I think way too much about where other couples are in their lives. If they have kids already, I question if me and my husband need to have kids right now because we are the same age as that couple.

I think way too much about what the future holds, when I simply do not know.

And the list goes on and on.

So, readers, if you are a people pleaser and/or overthinker like me, try to not let your inner negative voice creep in. If you ever feel like there are some people that do not like you, that is okay. You are not going to be everybody’s favorite and not everybody is going to like you, but ultimately, it does not matter. The people who do love and support you, they matter.

Don’t ever dim your light because you are afraid that you are too much for others. Be the brightest light and loudest person in the room.

You matter.

Navarro is the editor of the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached at [email protected].