Not a temporary daddy's girl

Eminem released “The Death of Slim Shady” a little more than a week ago and, like always, I enjoyed it immensely, but I was shocked by “Temporary.” The song felt like such a 180 after the previous track. Tears began to form in my eyes the moment he said the song was for Hailie and by the time the first chorus hit, I was sobbing at 6 a.m. in bed. Although it doesn’t feature complex lyrics or unique instrumentals, it immediately rose to the top of my album ranking.

The song begins with a thunderstorm, followed by Eminem answering whether or not he is afraid of death. He says that no, he’s not, but he is afraid of “not being able to say all the things I wanna say to [my children] when I’m no longer here.” Obviously, as I have no children, I thought of the inverse: what if I don’t get to say all the things to my parents, or particularly — since Eminem is singing from the perspective of a father — my dad, before they’re gone?

This is a thought that I’m sure crosses everyone’s mind — losing a parent — but I hate it, so I frequently refuse to think about it. I think this song caught me so off guard because it forced me to take an entire four minutes and 58 seconds to reflect on what it might be like when my dad is no longer here.

I’ve always been what people call a “daddy’s girl” in every sense. My dad’s my best friend and I trust him with everything. He’s never not taken a moment to try to understand me or figure out what I need. I think we just click, which I know is lucky, as that is not the case for a lot of people.

Additionally, I never hit the phase of childhood when I felt like I was too cool for my parents or that they were too lame for me. My dad would always say he was wondering when I would tell him I was too old for him to walk me to class on my first day of school. It never came. In fact, he had to be the one to tell me maybe I should go to my first day of high school by myself. I think if he could have, I would have asked him to take me to my first day of college, too.

If the day never came when I felt like I didn’t need my dad for the first days of school, how am I supposed to not need him for the rest of my life? This question haunts me. Who would I wait to watch music videos with when new music is released? Who would do puzzles with me or offer to go to a concert for someone he doesn’t care about just so I’m not alone? Who would listen to my rants about Grey’s Anatomy? Who would spend hours with me inside a Barnes and Noble without complaining? If I’m being realistic, I’m sure someone would, but it wouldn’t be the same. You can’t replace the bond of a parent.

The song beginning with a thunderstorm only makes it more meaningful because I have vivid memories of my dad coming to sleep on the floor in my room until I fell back asleep since I was afraid of storms. It just felt like every aspect of this song reminded me of a memory of my dad that I was grateful for.

Although the chorus of the song reminds us that in time, we’ll be fine because tears are temporary, it seems impossible. “When a heart breaks, it ain’t broken forever. The pieces will grow back together.” I think my heart would forever be chipped, with a piece missing.

Despite the many tears shed while listening to this song, Eminem’s recording with a young Hailie at the end made me smile. In it, she’s cursing and he tells her that he caught her. Hasn’t every daughter accidentally cursed in front of her dad, causing him to laugh? Just as the song had a sorrowful tone, but ended with a sweet moment, I hope that in the future, memories like these will remind me to appreciate the time I had instead of focusing on what was lost. Maybe the song is right and pain is temporary, but at least love and memories are long-lasting.

Kelley is a reporter at the Hays Free Press and New-Dispatch. She can be reached via email at [email protected].