Megan Navarro
I am 25 weeks pregnant and I have found the people who truly care how I am doing throughout the last few months.
After reading my publisher’s column last week, specifically the part where she noted her best friend’s sound advice, I just can’t get it out of my head: “If they wanted to, they would — If someone truly cares about you, they will show you. They will make an effort and be there when it’s important.”
When we made the public announcement, after sharing with our family and close friends, on social media that we were pregnant, there were several sweet and beautiful messages that were left. However, unfortunately, only a few people have stuck around to check in on me, asking how I am doing/feeling or if I need anything.
I am not asking for a free handout or someone to be texting or calling me multiple times a week because, I mean, how many times can I say that I am exhausted, hungry, stressed or genuinely doing well, depending on the time of day. But it would be nice to get one of those messages out of the blue, without having to reach out first.
This kind of goes back to me being an Enneagram 2, who are people pleasers by nature. We will focus so much on what other people need that, oftentimes, we will put our own desires on the backburner to ensure that everyone else is cared for.
It’s an unfortunate reality that my people-pleasing tendencies have led me to step away from friendships that were, honestly, not fulfilling me anymore. They became too one-sided and I felt like I was pouring more into trying to sustain a relationship that wasn’t thriving anymore, though, oftentimes, it took me way too long to realize it.
Now with being pregnant, my life has changed. Just like it did when I got married. I am stepping into this new chapter that some of my friends have gone through, while others have not.
• I am more tired than I was before, to the point where I want to call it quits during afternoon outings.
• I am almost always thinking of what needs to happen around the house before the baby comes.
• You will probably find at least one snack in my purse.
• Making plans can either really excite or overwhelm me (though, I don’t know if this is really that different than before).
And I will tell you firsthand, for those who have been pregnant before me, I was not the best friend I could have been during that time because I didn’t know how to be and I am sorry for that.
So, here’s to the people who have a friend who is pregnant — or maybe one who is entering into a different, new chapter — check in on them. Ask what they need and when in doubt, if they don’t know what they need at that moment, just show up, whether that is physically or by texting/calling them.
If you are that pregnant friend, know that you are not alone in your feelings.
Navarro is the executive editor for the Hays Free Press/News-Dispatch. She can be reached by emailing [email protected].
