We don’t mean to be prigs
But George Washington wore wigs.
And sported silk stockings, they say.
So you have to wonder, well – wowser! –
Why didn’t someone look into his trousers,
Back in the Founding Father’s day?
It’s hard to imagine how we beat the British
With “patriots” so brazenly, shockingly skittish
They let George use the outhouse untested.
It’s a threat to the freedom we all hold so dear
And, if you try, you can work up some fear.
Why, these days the State Senate would have him arrested.
And Travis! And Crocket! And Bowie, ee gads!
How, o how, do we know they were regular lads
And not just dressed in that way?
Twould be better to have fought and lost – by far –
Than to think that we owed our freedom to war
Led by people who didn’t pee as God ordered that day.
