The Academy Award nominations recently were announced, and I am proud to say that I have actually seen one of movies up for Best Picture. There are a total of eight movies nominated for Best Picture. I’ve seen one, “American Sniper,” and might see two others once they come out on DVD. Normally, I wait until after the Oscars are handed out to go see the winning performances, because there is nothing I hate more than taking out a bank loan, going to a huge theater with uncomfortable chairs and sticky floors, and watching a terrible, artsy-fartsy movie. Once the Oscars are passed out, then I have some idea which movies are worth paying big bucks to see.
As for this year’s nominees for Best Picture, my vote goes to “American Sniper.” It was a great movie, one of the best I’ve seen in years. As for the other nominated pictures, I have no opinion since I haven’t seen them and don’t plan to ever watch most of ’em even if they do win Oscars. There’s one movie about some hotel in Budapest. I don’t know what the heck it’s about, but the title makes me think it’s a documentary about Hungarian maid service and their techniques on cleaning bidets.
There’s also a movie called “Boyhood” that took 15 years to film. If it took that long to make, I gotta wonder how long it takes to watch this one. My bladder and sore knees barely make it through a two-hour flick. Any movie lasting longer than that will have me refilling that empty $6 cup of Dr. Pepper under the cloak of theater darkness. I think if a movie lasts three hours or more, the theater should install a Port-a-Potty in the aisle so movie-goers won’t miss anything important.
While I’m complaining about movie theaters, why in the Sam Hill would parents take their young child to an R-rated movie filled with graphic violence? I’m no Dr. Phil, but I don’t think it’s healthy for a three-year-old to watch someone’s head explode from a sniper’s bullet. I was probably six years old before I saw any movie that wasn’t made by Disney, and although I can’t recall my first “grown-up” movie, I’m sure John Wayne was starring in it.
Another problem I have with parents bringing little kids to theaters is those little toots don’t understand the concept of being quiet during the movie. If I have to pay a small fortune to watch a movie on the big screen with fancy surround sound, I don’t want to hear “Que paso?” from an inquisitive high-pitched rug rat two rows back. It’s an adult movie so it’s natural the poor tyke wants to know what just happened. Here’s an idea: take the kids to a kid movie.
I don’t plan to watch the Oscars this year since Clint Eastwood wasn’t nominated for Best Director, and we won’t be seeing Matthew McConaughey saying “Aw-right, aw-right, aw-right” during his acceptance speech. I might tune in during the last hour of the award show just to see if Bradley Cooper and “American Sniper” win an Oscar, or perhaps I’ll dig through my vast DVD collection and watch a classic movie that never won Best Picture, like “Dumb and Dumber” or “Police Academy 6.” The Academy of Motion Pictures just doesn’t appreciate good humor.
If Clint Younts were to star in a movie of his life, we wonder which actor would be chosen to play him? Younts would choose John Wayne, but surely the director would go for Jim Carrey.
crowsnest78610@yahoo.com