By Clint Younts
A while back, I informed all y’all that the folks in the U.S. Treasury were planning to put the face of someone besides Andrew Jackson on our 20-dollar bill. He being a slave owner over two centuries ago just didn’t set well with some folks, and with all this political correctness rigmarole that’s floating around like a bloated squirrel in a swimming pool, some big shots up in the D.C. decided we should take Jackson, box him up and store him in the cellar of the Smithsonian next to some statues of war heroes, the Confederate flag and “Dixie”.
So, starting in 2020, Harriet Tubman will grace the front of our $20 bill, and if Donald Trump somehow gets elected president, I’m guessing on the back of the 20, the White House will be replaced by Trump Tower.
Now, I don’t really object with putting Harriet Tubman on some currency, although I wish they could’ve found a more flattering portrait of her. I see no reason not to put a woman’s face on my money? Being married and having two daughters, I have had the hand of a female on my money for the past 36 years, so why not a woman’s face. Shoot, money rarely stays in my possession long enough for me to even notice whose picture is on a $20. Oh, sure, $1 bills stack up in my wallet like Pringles, but Andrew Jackson and I have never been bosom buddies. Honest Abe seems to stick around longer than Ol’ Hickory and Mr. Hamilton, but usually my wallet is stuffed with a mess of moldy ones. If it weren’t for my credit cards, I could only shop at Dollar General.
Speaking of Alexander Hamilton, did you know the feds were thinking about replacing his picture from the $10 bill since hardly anyone knew who the heck he was? Dang, I’m a fairly educated fella, and I don’t know what he did that was so great that got his portrait on the $10. Yeah, I know he was our first Secretary of Treasury, but did he whup Redcoats or fly a kite in a thunderstorm? Naw! All I remember about Hamilton from my American History classes is that he got shot in a duel with Aaron Burr. Personally, I don’t think we should glorify some politician who wasn’t a straight shooter.
Yeah, Hamilton was about to get the boot along with Jackson until the Broadway musical “Hamilton” became a huge hit. Now, I don’t know diddly squat about Broadway musicals, but I hear “Hamilton” is immensely popular, making a boatload of money and is turning Alexander Hamilton into a celebrity. I’ve seen some news clips of the play, and it looks like a bunch of dudes in wigs singing and dancing. If I want to see that, I’ll check out YouTube for a video of Caitlyn Jenner doing karaoke.
So, Hamilton is staying on the $10, but Jackson is being replaced by Harriet Tubman. As long as a slot machine recognizes the cash I occasionally cram into it, I don’t care whose ugly mug graces the cover. I am kinda sorry to see another American icon tossed to the curb, but new currency is alright, too. Change is a good thing, right? I hope so because right now, I have plenty of change for a $20-bill if you need it.
Clint Younts lives on his property, trying to keep the money in his pocket, his cows in grass, and his grandchildren away from snakes.