I’m a bit confused about that college that Donald Trump built. They call it Trump University, but I’m not too sure where its campus is situated. I am somewhat a fanatic when it comes to college athletics. Well, at least football and March Madness basketball. And I have a good knowledge where most campuses are located, at least which state they’re in. But it seems Trump U flitters around the country like a band of gypsies. At one time Trump University showed up in Texas, probably hoping to join the Big 12, but we can only have one TU ’round these parts. So Dean Donald and his school got the boot from the Lone Star State.
Just how big is this here Trump University? And does it have a football team? Last fall, I watched a lot of small schools play ball since certain Texas college teams sucked worse than a turbo-charged Hoover vacuum. Not once did I see Trump U play Louisiana Tech or Appalachian State. What conference is Trump U in? Definitely not the Big 12 or the Southland Conference. They play too close to Mexico for Trump to attend a game.
And if Trump U does have athletics, what is its mascot? With Trump’s infatuation over big walls, I wonder if his school’s athletes are the Mighty Masons, or perhaps the Burly Bricklayers. Marshall has the Thundering Herd. Trump U could have the Toxic Cloud as its team nickname. ‘Bama is the Crimson Tide, so Trump University could be the Orange Orator. How about the Blabbering Buffoons with the mascot dressed in an expensive business suit and having an overinflated head beneath a tacky red gimme cap?
Whatever the team is called, I bet all the players will argue with the referees and be poor sports. I foresee lots of unsportsmanlike conduct and several targeting calls in the football games, and I predict the entire TU basketball squad will foul out of the game before halftime. Heck, the trainer will probably get a couple of technical fouls before the game is over. I wouldn’t be surprised one bit to see the NCAA investigate Trump U for some recruiting violation or other infraction.
Just what would your typical student athlete study at Trump University? Oh, I’m sure there are business classes, but I doubt they offer Political Science or Ethics. Journalism isn’t offered, but I hear there’s a class on fiction writing, and I am unclear if TU even has Liberal Arts. I bet there is a school of engineering with an emphasis on wall construction. Freshman courses would include Racism 101 and Tax Evasion. And for those non-athletes, they will be encouraged to join the debate club and learn the fine art of dodging the questions and skirting the issue.
For all you recent high school graduates, I will start searching for more information on this fine school of higher learning, like the tuition and acceptance requirements. I doubt Trump would care much about your SAT score, but if you are of Mexican decent, a Muslim, or an opinionated female, then I would recommend looking at a different school. You know, no matter what you want to study, I’d steer clear of Trump University, unless you want a career in the circus. Then this clown’s college is the place for you.
Clint Younts went to the University of Tennessee and then hits the trail to Texas. He hasn’t left since, so he probably won’t be going to graduate school at Trump U.
crowsnest78610@yahoo.com