I have never been one to dive head-first into some fad or craze. I didn’t own a pet rock back in the 70s. After spending one summer picking up stones out of my grandfather’s corn field, I had no interest in any more rocks. I had a mood ring for a short while, but the stone always was black. It must’ve been defective. Y’all remember the Rubik’s Cube, right? I messed with one for about an hour and got frustrated. I never could get more than two sides to be the same color. Must’ve been defective.
MTV was the craze of the 80s, but I would watch Hee Haw instead. I tried playing video games but I was a sore loser and TV repair costs cut into my entertainment budget, so I left that craze in the hands of my kids. I think the reason I can’t get into some new fad is because I’m kinda set in my ways, or as some youngsters call me, old fashioned. And if you were to see my cell phone, you’re apt to agree with them.
I used to have one of those flip phones that I really liked. Flipping it open to make a call was like Capt. Kirk calling the Enterprise, saying, “Beam me up, Scotty”. Yeah, that was a fine phone until the hinge broke and I had to hold it together with duct tape and a rubber band. Then I was given a phone with a keyboard so I could text easier. It’s a good phone. I can call folks and send a text to my wife asking what the heck she just sent me to HEB for.
Lots of folks have those expensive iPhones, Androids or other “smart” phones. They are full of apps and are connected to the internet. I don’t know much about them but I think the manufacturers put crack cocaine into the plastic because users can’t go more than 5 minutes without picking up their phones and getting a quick fix. I was recently attending a Garth Brooks concert, and I saw people looking at their phones instead of the stage. Pitiful!
The newest craze is this Pokémon Go app on these phones. I’m not sure what a Pokémon is, although there have been numerous occasions where I am stuck behind a pokey man on my drive to work. What I’ve heard is there are numerous virtual monsters scattered around towns across the country, and phone junkies try to track them down by using the GPS on their phones. I have GPS on my phone’s keyboard along with 23 other letters, but I still can’t play this game.
I don’t have a problem with others playing this game. It gets young, chubby couch potatoes off their butts and makes them get outside and walk. The problem with Pokémon Go occurs when players go where they shouldn’t in search of these monsters. I’ve heard stories of people walking into traffic and other hazardous areas because their eyes are transfixed upon the screen. Players will trespass onto private property. I heard some players recently entered a cathedral during a wedding ceremony in search of their prey. You’d think these Pokémon monsters would have an aversion to holy water.
There’re also reports of people playing Pokémon Go while driving. This is even more dangerous than texting behind the wheel. Austin drivers are already crazy, and now they are looking around for imaginary creatures. Just one more reason for me to stay down here in Hays County.
Y’all won’t catch me playing Pokémon Go. I will poke cows and poke fun, and might even imitate Gus McCrae and ask for a poke, but I will never go searching for nonexistent monsters. I saw enough of those when I was washing down pain meds with tequila. Besides, I don’t even need a fancy phone with GPS to tell me where to go. I have a wife to do that for me.
Clint Younts has a following – out in his pasture. But, as cows probably don’t have fancy phones, they probably won’t be running into him while looking for monsters.
crowsnest78610@yahoo.com